I am sharing information about seasonal depression solely from my personal experience, having lived for decades at latitudes 60°–63° N. If you can picture places as far north as Anchorage, Alaska or Reykjavik, Iceland, you might grasp the conditions I’m describing.
As I write this at the beginning of January, the temperature outside is -19 °C = -2 °F during the day and -24 °C / -11 °F at night. Daylight is scarce, with the sun rising around 9.30 AM and setting at 3:15 PM. So, if you go to work or school, it’s pitch-dark when you leave the home and dark again before you return. Even if you are fortunate enough to go outside during the daytime, the sun is rarely seen. Over 90 % of days were cloudy on November. December was a bit better; saw the sun for 5 times, according to my journal.
Now picture my facial expression as I walk through the frozen darkness, listening to life coaches’ podcasts telling me that the simplest and most effective way to feel better during seasonal affective disorder is to “enjoy some daylight first thing in the morning!” Yeah, right, maybe that is doable in California.
These are my symptoms of seasonal depression
For the 6-7 months of the year (form March to September) I am an innovative and active person. I get so much things done and love to spend time outdoors and with friends and family. That is who I truly am and want to be.
However, as darkness arrives, and days grow shorter, the following symptoms creep into my life:
- I feel no excitement.
- It feels hard to wake up in the darkness. And even when I force myself out for a walk, I remain tired and ready to go back to sleep for hours.
- I can easily sleep 8–12 hours and still need a nap or two during the daytime.
- I regret booking any events to my calendar. I simply want to stay hidden. I have no desire to socialise.
- I have daily cravings for large amounts of unhealthy sweets like chocolate. I end up gaining around 3–5 kg = 7–11 lb of extra weight every winter, managing to shed about half of it during the summer. You can imagine the toll this takes over 20 or 30 years.
- Gaining weight and feeling unlike myself brings my mood down to the “leave me alone; I don’t wanna talk” level.
What helps (if anything) to seasonal affective depression?
While books may tell you the basics that “eating well and exercising” can help with your energy levels and mood, my experience suggests that these pieces of advices work when you are not deep in depression. But telling to a depressed person “cheer up and get to the gym” is not very beneficial.
What I have found, if not helping, at least not worsening the symptoms in my case, is openly stating that seasonal depression hits me yearly, and that is why I am withdrawing and taking time to rest. In practice, this means taking care of my job and family (though maybe taking a nap during the day), while minimising all the extra activities besides work. No expectations for hitting new records at the gym. A walk with a dog through a snowy forest and some stretching is good enough.
I must tell you that setting limits like this isn’t easy. Many people around you try to be friendly, thinking that all that you need to brighten up is partying out late or trying new things. Dear friend, this is not the time for that. the best you can do is understand and acknowledge that it’s ok for me to take the time that I need.
Then, one morning, sun is rises a little bit higher, and I start to write down new ideas for the upcoming months. This blog is one of those ideas. Next November I’ll be writing it under the sun. Will you join me?
